Mental Health Matters, if Robin Williams is the face of men’s mental health with a debilitating Lewy body dementia diagnosis, well that is a pretty good face in my eyes. I have loved growing up watching his movies, he had some pretty amazing ideas and his work in the space of mental health is a legacy.
I haven’t dedicated my Substack to this topic, ironically that is a big part of my research, I know, I have other parts of my research on my mind at the moment. So here I am with my ‘notes experiment’. We have had some laughs in the notes; I am a little sentimental, so here is a little ‘keep’s sake’. I’ve added few extras just for fun.
Writing a thesis leads me to spend a lot of time in my own head and you are my unfortunate outlet. I feel sorry for you. I have a feeling you will send me down various research rabbit holes. I forgive you but reserve the right to blame you and take no responsibility for my actions.
I look at life through a dark lens, not because I’m pessimistic, but because it gives every ridiculous moment an expiration date. I am a realist and a constructivist, depending which personality you meet on any given day. Life is temporary which is either terrifying or liberating.
I felt the need to communicate this very clearly. I quit my 9-5 job.
Living the dream (please do not ask whose!)
Before you even consider I need a diagnosis, consider this;
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with assholes. - William Gibson
I am definitively surrounded by assholes if they want to diagnose me, I am completely fine, just fine mate, are you a woman? Let’s not confuse mental health with perimenopause or menopause or is there a connection? of course there fucken is.
Monday Moments
Monday began like any other day.
Oops we slept in,
Running late to begin,
What a great start to a school day,
I want to give up… on Monday.
Monday madness is here again. That was quick!
Planning. It is somewhere around here.
Remembering. I knew I forgot something.
Organising. Stuff for everyone.
How is your Monday going? Managed to leave the house?
Monday madness management system, activated.
Got up, 8am slept in, negotiated a hostage situation over uniforms and lunch boxes. Drink bottle missing in action. Dog and cat waiting for food.
Went to school, one fought me, I lost, she stayed home, one informed me he had a day off, don’t remember the email, the other one made his own way. Independence. Who is managing who here?
Returned. All home safely. Hungry. Suspiciously quiet. Dinner duties.
OMG Monday is almost over here, hope yours has a better start!
Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother. - Robin Williams
Other days
AI Chloe
I named my AI Chloe after my favourite perfume, as you do! Today I thought I would ask Chloe; Who am I as a writer on Substack?
Here are her responses:
A “Trojan Horse”
A caffeinated translator of mental chaos.
A person who argues with fictional characters.
An expert who stares blankly at blinking cursors.
If anyone can tell me what this actually means I would be very grateful.
Brain fight
Today I exercised to lift my mood,
The fitness app said, “Looking good!”
Ten push-ups later, I disagreed,
My brain screamed quit, I stopped in lighting speed.
Wisdom
To my surprise, today I’ve run out of fucks,
No panic, no drama, no relying on luck,
The world’s still spinning, the sky is blue,
Turns out most problems do not need my view.
Swings
My mood swings harder than kettlebells,
One minute heaven, then next minute hell,
I went for a jog to clear my head,
Now I am grumpy, sweaty and craving bread!!
Chasing
I am chasing my tail today like a headless chook,
Racing around with a worried look,
Lost my list and my coffee too,
Now I am late for things I didn’t need to do!
Headless
Chasing my tail like a headless chook,
Trying to keep life’s chaos by the book,
To my surprise, I finally see,
The less I give a fuck, the happier me!
At this point I start playing My Happiness by Powderfinger.
Effort
Low effort dinner and entertainment for kids tonight,
Solo parenting dinners are lite,
Beans on toast are a musical treat,
It’s easy and fun to eat,
Tooting and farting to a beat,
Kids giggle, laugher and extra smells,
That sorts out entertainment after dinner … TGIF ding dong bells!
Making Coffee
This is how you make coffee when you have kids, just in case you have forgotten;
make coffee,
forget you made it,
microwave it,
forget you microwaved it and drink it cold.
Annoying moments
5 Things that annoyed me today researching;
1, I opened google scholar to look up one paper, three hours later I knew the history of using a vapor,
2, Every article promises a 5-minute read, forty-seven minutes later, I am still working out what I need,
3, I found the perfect source, a glorious sight…it was a delicious recipe I am going to cook tonight,
4, One article said, absolutely yes, another one argued no way, that’s crap, or have I discovered another research gap,
5, I collected all facts with precision and care, then I forgot…distracted by Roxy’s glare (oops… must be the bone I promised her that is sitting next to my laptop).
Shit I Wrote a Note
I wrote a note at half past ten,
A flawless list with my favourite sparkling pen,
I sorted wisdom and success into a category,
The universe claimed it was time for glory,
Then my coffee spilled upon my note,
The fucken cat pissed on my winter coat,
My laptop froze, my charger died,
Today I genuinely cried,
I missed a meeting, lost my keys,
Tripped over my fucken dog, and grazed my knees,
Writing helps, neuroplasticity is helping my brain, process this,
Now I can throw my shit your way with a kiss.
Opinions
My doctor told me I lack empathy and care nothing for the feelings of others. I listened, I thought back to all my interactions, I thought I had said all the right things, I did not understand what the fuck he was saying, honestly, I didn’t know how to feel about that, truly.
Midlife Style and Grace
I reached midlife with style and grace,
Then held my phone up to my face.
The menu shrank, the lights grew dim
Or maybe it’s just my aging whim.
I can’t recall what I wrote this note is about,
Though it seemed important, crystal clear, with no doubt.
But here’s the truth that makes me smile,
I’m enjoying sorting out this laundry pile.
On a closing studio fieldnote, this one has been a fun way starting my Monday where everything usually goes terribly wrong! This is a little truth and pain with all things funny so take care laughter at the expense of others. Why did it feel so good, because laughter decreases cortisol and adrenaline levels, it helps reframe threatening or difficult life events into manageable perspectives, social bonding and connection when used with genuine inclusiveness, trust building and sense of belonging for everyone. Yes, being funny needs genuine ‘caring’ touch. Let’s not forget about the wonderful neurochemical booster our brains get a dose of dopamine, serotonin and endorphins that all elevate our mood, a boost of happiness. Have a great week and thank you for reading.
Here are couple of websites about Robin Williams experiences:
Robin Williams: Lewy Body Dementia, Suicide and Parkinson’s | Parkinson’s Foundation
Robin Williams and Lewy Body Dementia: What His Story Teaches Us
Continue with ‘fun’ reading…
Katerina, the “notes experiment” feels like a lab notebook for the parts of life that refuse to behave like research variables. Cold coffee, school-run negotiations, Google Scholar rabbit holes, menopause, and the headless-chook chaos all become observations you can laugh at without sanding off their strain. The humor creates enough room to keep looking at the mess with curiosity, which feels especially fitting for someone living inside a thesis while managing everything else. Grateful for the way you let scholarship and everyday absurdity occupy the same page.
“Living the dream (please do not ask whose!)”
That line had me. Beneath the glorious chaos, there’s something wonderfully human here: research, parenting, midlife and mental overload all surviving through humour. Sometimes laughing at the mess is its own coping mechanism.
Chaotic. Candid. Hilarious. I'M SUBSCRIBING!
I write at The Reflective State, where one of my ongoing series is Mountain Mysteries—atmospheric tales of mystery, folklore and the unexplained set in the mountains of India.
If curiosity ever brings you my way, I'd genuinely love to know what you think.