I feel like everyone on here has given better answers than I have.
It’s not sure what I can add. The article itself is very well written but there is so much to unpack in it. First, the standout somewhat irony to it is you are writing in your own voice as you contemporaneously ask where it is? So that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I’ve read many articles like this - Healinlayers wrote on too some time back and I commented a lot on that. I’ve been writing for 20+ years now - all of it for the first 20 years to myself and I’ve never been in a situation where I feel I can’t find my voice to write - for me it’s been a case of no idea what voice is going to come out 😂 - so to me when I read this article it just comes across as a massive overthinking problem and a search for answers way back in life that don’t really matter (IMO) - it’s not reflective of who you are today nor does it influence your voice now. I hope that makes sense. In no way is this to dismiss the way you are feeling because it is clearly important and genuine. So it matters. My point I guess is why does it matter what the schoolgirls reason for acting as she did matter? It’s too multi layered with so many different factors that aren’t at play today.
Aaaweee thanks Dr Frank! Lots of reassurance in your comment. I appreciate it. Need it. Nice to hear it from an experienced writer.
For me understanding the past helps understand the present, and how it has influenced me into the person Iam today. I agree, Iam no longer that teenager but the experience has influenced me. Somehow.
I am trying out few new things to find my writers voice,...some bit cringe lol amateur poetry.... , writing snippets of thoughts, comparing old writing to current writing. Maybe what I need is evidence in progress... And then I will recognise myself in the work.
I think if I went through similar processes when I write I’d end up frozen. I just write - I don’t even think - and I could write the same story 10s on different days and each would be different taking on my mood at the time. I’m not a writer. I’ve no idea what having a voice really even means. I don’t have one. I have whatever comes out at the time - writing for me is a freedom of expression- if I tried to understand it or box it or define myself as one voice I don’t think anything would come out the gates 😂
Yeah I get that the flow it's liberating. You've named it! Its freezing when faced with something that feels impossible or painfu. It's not a good place to be the "Freedom of Expression" is what I crave. Maybe I need to practice that offline a little safer 😊 thanks this has helped my thinking.
Just write - not for anyone or anything - don’t edit it or amend grammar or spelling or structure - just write whatever is on your brain. If you don’t have a topic - ask Chat man - to give you 5 ideas to write about - I don’t know write a love story backwards from now to meeting, write about Australias love of BBQs, or way my name is definitely not Gary or Frank
I will do that! Lol just remind me if I forget 🤣 I have been thinking about it. When time permits, maybe on this trip. I have few ideas for a creative piece or few I want to write, just for fun. Btw I like Frank. It's a keeper Iam afraid! 🤣👌🏼
I have had some envy struggles on here too. I can feel envious of others' easy ability to be outgoing. Notes can be hard for me. I am so much more of a one on one person so being a therapist fits me. I am learning to join into the groups and feel accepted but childhood certainly shapes the struggle, being the weird kid, being left out and all the attention being focused on my brother. Then I'm a middle child.... "that way of thinking keeps me away from (as opposed to drawing me closer into) my own inner experience and knowing about life. It invites me away from my own unique journey as a human being." This is where I'm at too ❤️
And I knew who you were talking about from the start of the article 😊
Oh Envy! I am with you! I am so please this resonates so much with me. ❤️ I think being the “weird kid,” feeling overlooked, and growing up in someone else’s shadow leaves marks that can follow us in life and into unexpected parts of life, like finding our voice. But I love what you highlighted that comparison distracts us away from our own inner experience.
That's such a helpful reminder of how to see envy and why it shows up. Envy can be such a painful emotion, and the need for validation is strong.
I have been thinking of unleashing random thoughts into notes and do a little fun experiment.
You should do that. It's a supportive environment to build our confidence. I have a few that still get responses from months ago and some get no response and it's ok either way. LOL
Wow, thank you for the appreciation firstly, i appreciate you so much 🩷
Secondly, this was a beautiful piece that i am sure so many can relate! We have all been in this position at one point or another im sure but i feel your voice is in there just waiting to come out!!! Give it permission hunny and you will be unstoppable! 🙏🤍
I am so glad you are here, reading and commenting hun, you are beautiful!!
Thank you, I belted this one out Monday morning, just needed it out of my head and this is how it turned out. I like how you frame it 'give it permission' that is probably why I am stuck!! I need to work out how to do that... thank you for the guidance, really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for mentioning me here. That really means a lot.
I loved reading how you connected the pressure of the PhD with those earlier memories of being shaped by school, beauty, performance, and all the things we learn before we even know we are learning them.
That question of “how much of this is really me?” feels so important. I think finding a writer’s voice is sometimes also about noticing all the voices we have carried, and slowly recognising which parts still feel true to us now.
Very powerful to read, and definitely some questions I’ll keep thinking about for myself. 💕
Oh Sara, thank you for being here and reading and commenting, those memories are brewing inside my head, more I read, more I remember. I thinking I have just kept them locked away in a pandora box that is slowly irrupting. It is helpful for me to look back and see where the influences came from society vs family vs peer's vs pop culture etc.
That question is lingering within me every day, the more I learn, the more I question How much of me I really am. I have no answers as jet, but I am slowly learning and questioning and wondering. 'Burlesque' example was definitively influenced by my dance teachers' choices at the time, reinformed by pop culture and society, whatever was popular. This part didn't come from family. I really wanted to explore this.
I appreciate you found a 'powerful read', perhaps that is the voice I need to tap into, something that is powerful and thought provoking, challenging the dominate voice in society.
Yea. Sometimes the more we read and write, the more those old memories start coming back, and we begin to see where certain parts of us were shaped.
And yes, when we dig in, we might realize there are things that truly come from us and our desires. And that’s a great understanding.
That question of “how much of me is really me?” can take a long time to sit with. But I think your voice is already coming through in the questioning itself. 💕
Thank you Sara, I think you may be onto something, I re-read this and there are elements feel familiar... just not quite right. I write another post 'Jodie' that felt so good to write, its a story I am using at the conference...anyway will continue to ponder on this, writing is a practice that take time and practice to develop.
Write it, trace it, draw it, record it, voice it, scream it — it's all the same. Different mediums, different ways.
As a certified Gen Z, I am required to apologize for my opinion. I’m about to go outside and try to get this dog to stop screaming from the firecrackers going off!
Thank you, Daniel, for being here, reading and commenting, your GenZ voice is needed, I appreciate it, please don't apologise for it.
You are right, 'my writers voice is the voice in my head' - this would make a great visual art piece btw...
I know what you mean, as a creative, the natural instinct to learn it, trace it, draw it, paint whatever works - I love that, as an artist I have practice self-expression on my canvas for a while, it feels liberation. Perhaps an art piece in the making hey!
I hope you dog is OK, my dog doesn't like fireworks either.
That’s a very cool response -your writers voice is the voice in your head.. and I would say you don’t find your voice by looking for it. You find it by writing! Lovely article Katerina and thank you for the sweet mention. You are lovely x
No worries at all Eva, I really enjoyed reading your work, it really structs me how you describe to social construct of your experiences, meaning making and storytelling. I am excited to read more when time permits.
I also get what you’re saying though.. we have so many different influences.. it’s almost like an identity crisis- who is the real me without any of those influences are am I me because of them.
Thank you for seeing that in this piece, I wanted to share how different peoples' decisions can influence our own experiences and therefore our own decisions about the next steps in life.
I wish it was an identity crisis; I think I would feel less pressure.
For me, I am 'forced' to understand myself more through my research I co-construct experiences and perspectives with my research participants. Something completely unexpected when I designed my study. LOL rookey decision!
Yes I can see how that’s a whole different thing! Researching is a whole different landscape. You write beautifully btw x
Brene brown is one of my favourites and she was a researcher and speaks beautifully… she doesn’t write - she said she found it difficult coming from a research background - but for her she found it better to speak and record her story then use that to craft it into writing. She is an awesome storyteller. I find often doing this process of recording and then writing it is so helpful.
Awwweee you are so lovely Eva, thank you so much Eva, I needed to hear that, lots of self-doubt here, maybe this is the beginning of finding my 'voice', in this piece. This time I didn't hold onto it for review in few days, I just wrote it and published it.
Brene is a great storyteller, I agree, love listening to her, she has a great taxes accent! I did hear her talk about writing and her process of recording her thoughts, I have all her books, and I listen to her quite a bit. She inspired my research design and methodology I am using btw, yes I am a fan!
I never considered recording myself. That's an idea worth serious consideration! What do you use to record yourself on? phone, computer? (and do you cringe listening to yourself after?!) lol I think I would.
Hahaha absolutely cringe but no one else listens.!! I use notes or voice memo on my iPhone.. noticed you said you were having a break for a bit.. hope you’re ok:) sounds like you have lots going on!! Important to rest and take care of yourself x glad you are 💕
Absolutely Daniel, we receive so many external messages from society that surrounds us and we either absorb them consciously or unconsciously. The 'IN-OUT' thought process is absolutely the way to go and a great release for anyone especially a creative! Simple and effective. Paired with some physical activity and laughter along the way, you are on a winner formula!
For me, I need to embody it, process it, understand it and articulate what the mess inside my head is, and then get it out to find my voice to ground me in my identity.
I don’t know how you do that kind of stuff; the idea of thinking about something that's no longer real feels like dwelling and sounds like something someone would do in therapy.
We are primitive little geese running around saying we know things, even though all of our influences are just ambitious zealots and self-proclaimed “intellectuals” like Skinner, Freud, and the only one I have any semblance of respect for after reading their books is Carl Jung, he was on to something with the animus in the world out our world, etc., but it needed to be developed by future generations that we have failed him horribly, at least, to my knowledge.
Who has at least tried to advance the science. Now, we’re just taking the information that confounds reason, slapping labels on it for profit, and writing it all the way from sixth gear to second and grinding every person out of hope in asking the same questions repetitively, and MAKING MONEY from it.
It’s a profiteering industry, and there’s no obvious reality I see, only actions that lead to results. If some people need to think things over multiple times before doing something, then by all means go ahead; please, dear Jesus, get away from me with it.
In a more sincere way to put it, there are no concrete facts in psychology; therefore, I’m mocking it really hard like that, so please don’t take it personally. It is not that you or even the cocaine paper author who a lot of the knowledge you’re talking about stems from.
Nothing wrong with cocaine, nothing wrong with the Oedipus Rex complex, nothing wrong with the fact of killing the father fuck the mother kill the father... Ect. Yeah.
Those “thoughts,” the ones you should dwell on, so to speak, a lot of of that stemmed from him.
Thanks Daniel, I didn't understand most of that, but it does feel like self-induced therapy! lol Don't worry about mocking theories or science, I have to critique it too and defend my position! incl Skinner and Freud! fun times:-)
I feel like everyone on here has given better answers than I have.
It’s not sure what I can add. The article itself is very well written but there is so much to unpack in it. First, the standout somewhat irony to it is you are writing in your own voice as you contemporaneously ask where it is? So that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I’ve read many articles like this - Healinlayers wrote on too some time back and I commented a lot on that. I’ve been writing for 20+ years now - all of it for the first 20 years to myself and I’ve never been in a situation where I feel I can’t find my voice to write - for me it’s been a case of no idea what voice is going to come out 😂 - so to me when I read this article it just comes across as a massive overthinking problem and a search for answers way back in life that don’t really matter (IMO) - it’s not reflective of who you are today nor does it influence your voice now. I hope that makes sense. In no way is this to dismiss the way you are feeling because it is clearly important and genuine. So it matters. My point I guess is why does it matter what the schoolgirls reason for acting as she did matter? It’s too multi layered with so many different factors that aren’t at play today.
Aaaweee thanks Dr Frank! Lots of reassurance in your comment. I appreciate it. Need it. Nice to hear it from an experienced writer.
For me understanding the past helps understand the present, and how it has influenced me into the person Iam today. I agree, Iam no longer that teenager but the experience has influenced me. Somehow.
I am trying out few new things to find my writers voice,...some bit cringe lol amateur poetry.... , writing snippets of thoughts, comparing old writing to current writing. Maybe what I need is evidence in progress... And then I will recognise myself in the work.
I think if I went through similar processes when I write I’d end up frozen. I just write - I don’t even think - and I could write the same story 10s on different days and each would be different taking on my mood at the time. I’m not a writer. I’ve no idea what having a voice really even means. I don’t have one. I have whatever comes out at the time - writing for me is a freedom of expression- if I tried to understand it or box it or define myself as one voice I don’t think anything would come out the gates 😂
Yeah I get that the flow it's liberating. You've named it! Its freezing when faced with something that feels impossible or painfu. It's not a good place to be the "Freedom of Expression" is what I crave. Maybe I need to practice that offline a little safer 😊 thanks this has helped my thinking.
Just write - not for anyone or anything - don’t edit it or amend grammar or spelling or structure - just write whatever is on your brain. If you don’t have a topic - ask Chat man - to give you 5 ideas to write about - I don’t know write a love story backwards from now to meeting, write about Australias love of BBQs, or way my name is definitely not Gary or Frank
I will do that! Lol just remind me if I forget 🤣 I have been thinking about it. When time permits, maybe on this trip. I have few ideas for a creative piece or few I want to write, just for fun. Btw I like Frank. It's a keeper Iam afraid! 🤣👌🏼
I have had some envy struggles on here too. I can feel envious of others' easy ability to be outgoing. Notes can be hard for me. I am so much more of a one on one person so being a therapist fits me. I am learning to join into the groups and feel accepted but childhood certainly shapes the struggle, being the weird kid, being left out and all the attention being focused on my brother. Then I'm a middle child.... "that way of thinking keeps me away from (as opposed to drawing me closer into) my own inner experience and knowing about life. It invites me away from my own unique journey as a human being." This is where I'm at too ❤️
And I knew who you were talking about from the start of the article 😊
Thanks for writing this!
Oh Envy! I am with you! I am so please this resonates so much with me. ❤️ I think being the “weird kid,” feeling overlooked, and growing up in someone else’s shadow leaves marks that can follow us in life and into unexpected parts of life, like finding our voice. But I love what you highlighted that comparison distracts us away from our own inner experience.
That's such a helpful reminder of how to see envy and why it shows up. Envy can be such a painful emotion, and the need for validation is strong.
I have been thinking of unleashing random thoughts into notes and do a little fun experiment.
You should do that. It's a supportive environment to build our confidence. I have a few that still get responses from months ago and some get no response and it's ok either way. LOL
Great, I will, I love social experiments...lol
All work and no play… lol
Wow, thank you for the appreciation firstly, i appreciate you so much 🩷
Secondly, this was a beautiful piece that i am sure so many can relate! We have all been in this position at one point or another im sure but i feel your voice is in there just waiting to come out!!! Give it permission hunny and you will be unstoppable! 🙏🤍
I am so glad you are here, reading and commenting hun, you are beautiful!!
Thank you, I belted this one out Monday morning, just needed it out of my head and this is how it turned out. I like how you frame it 'give it permission' that is probably why I am stuck!! I need to work out how to do that... thank you for the guidance, really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for mentioning me here. That really means a lot.
I loved reading how you connected the pressure of the PhD with those earlier memories of being shaped by school, beauty, performance, and all the things we learn before we even know we are learning them.
That question of “how much of this is really me?” feels so important. I think finding a writer’s voice is sometimes also about noticing all the voices we have carried, and slowly recognising which parts still feel true to us now.
Very powerful to read, and definitely some questions I’ll keep thinking about for myself. 💕
Oh Sara, thank you for being here and reading and commenting, those memories are brewing inside my head, more I read, more I remember. I thinking I have just kept them locked away in a pandora box that is slowly irrupting. It is helpful for me to look back and see where the influences came from society vs family vs peer's vs pop culture etc.
That question is lingering within me every day, the more I learn, the more I question How much of me I really am. I have no answers as jet, but I am slowly learning and questioning and wondering. 'Burlesque' example was definitively influenced by my dance teachers' choices at the time, reinformed by pop culture and society, whatever was popular. This part didn't come from family. I really wanted to explore this.
I appreciate you found a 'powerful read', perhaps that is the voice I need to tap into, something that is powerful and thought provoking, challenging the dominate voice in society.
Yea. Sometimes the more we read and write, the more those old memories start coming back, and we begin to see where certain parts of us were shaped.
And yes, when we dig in, we might realize there are things that truly come from us and our desires. And that’s a great understanding.
That question of “how much of me is really me?” can take a long time to sit with. But I think your voice is already coming through in the questioning itself. 💕
Thank you Sara, I think you may be onto something, I re-read this and there are elements feel familiar... just not quite right. I write another post 'Jodie' that felt so good to write, its a story I am using at the conference...anyway will continue to ponder on this, writing is a practice that take time and practice to develop.
Yes, that makes sense. Some pieces have something real in them, but they still don’t fully reflect what you want to say. It happens to me too.
I’d love to read “Jodie” when you share it. 💕
Thank you really appreciate you. Jodie is now live....whenever you find time...
Your writer‘s voice is the voice in your head.
No more, no less.
Write it, trace it, draw it, record it, voice it, scream it — it's all the same. Different mediums, different ways.
As a certified Gen Z, I am required to apologize for my opinion. I’m about to go outside and try to get this dog to stop screaming from the firecrackers going off!
Thank you, Daniel, for being here, reading and commenting, your GenZ voice is needed, I appreciate it, please don't apologise for it.
You are right, 'my writers voice is the voice in my head' - this would make a great visual art piece btw...
I know what you mean, as a creative, the natural instinct to learn it, trace it, draw it, paint whatever works - I love that, as an artist I have practice self-expression on my canvas for a while, it feels liberation. Perhaps an art piece in the making hey!
I hope you dog is OK, my dog doesn't like fireworks either.
That’s a very cool response -your writers voice is the voice in your head.. and I would say you don’t find your voice by looking for it. You find it by writing! Lovely article Katerina and thank you for the sweet mention. You are lovely x
No worries at all Eva, I really enjoyed reading your work, it really structs me how you describe to social construct of your experiences, meaning making and storytelling. I am excited to read more when time permits.
I also get what you’re saying though.. we have so many different influences.. it’s almost like an identity crisis- who is the real me without any of those influences are am I me because of them.
Thank you for seeing that in this piece, I wanted to share how different peoples' decisions can influence our own experiences and therefore our own decisions about the next steps in life.
I wish it was an identity crisis; I think I would feel less pressure.
For me, I am 'forced' to understand myself more through my research I co-construct experiences and perspectives with my research participants. Something completely unexpected when I designed my study. LOL rookey decision!
Yes I can see how that’s a whole different thing! Researching is a whole different landscape. You write beautifully btw x
Brene brown is one of my favourites and she was a researcher and speaks beautifully… she doesn’t write - she said she found it difficult coming from a research background - but for her she found it better to speak and record her story then use that to craft it into writing. She is an awesome storyteller. I find often doing this process of recording and then writing it is so helpful.
Awwweee you are so lovely Eva, thank you so much Eva, I needed to hear that, lots of self-doubt here, maybe this is the beginning of finding my 'voice', in this piece. This time I didn't hold onto it for review in few days, I just wrote it and published it.
Brene is a great storyteller, I agree, love listening to her, she has a great taxes accent! I did hear her talk about writing and her process of recording her thoughts, I have all her books, and I listen to her quite a bit. She inspired my research design and methodology I am using btw, yes I am a fan!
I never considered recording myself. That's an idea worth serious consideration! What do you use to record yourself on? phone, computer? (and do you cringe listening to yourself after?!) lol I think I would.
Hahaha absolutely cringe but no one else listens.!! I use notes or voice memo on my iPhone.. noticed you said you were having a break for a bit.. hope you’re ok:) sounds like you have lots going on!! Important to rest and take care of yourself x glad you are 💕
The world outside of yourself is your input the world inside of yourself is your output. There is no more or less.
Absolutely Daniel, we receive so many external messages from society that surrounds us and we either absorb them consciously or unconsciously. The 'IN-OUT' thought process is absolutely the way to go and a great release for anyone especially a creative! Simple and effective. Paired with some physical activity and laughter along the way, you are on a winner formula!
For me, I need to embody it, process it, understand it and articulate what the mess inside my head is, and then get it out to find my voice to ground me in my identity.
I don’t know how you do that kind of stuff; the idea of thinking about something that's no longer real feels like dwelling and sounds like something someone would do in therapy.
We are primitive little geese running around saying we know things, even though all of our influences are just ambitious zealots and self-proclaimed “intellectuals” like Skinner, Freud, and the only one I have any semblance of respect for after reading their books is Carl Jung, he was on to something with the animus in the world out our world, etc., but it needed to be developed by future generations that we have failed him horribly, at least, to my knowledge.
Who has at least tried to advance the science. Now, we’re just taking the information that confounds reason, slapping labels on it for profit, and writing it all the way from sixth gear to second and grinding every person out of hope in asking the same questions repetitively, and MAKING MONEY from it.
It’s a profiteering industry, and there’s no obvious reality I see, only actions that lead to results. If some people need to think things over multiple times before doing something, then by all means go ahead; please, dear Jesus, get away from me with it.
In a more sincere way to put it, there are no concrete facts in psychology; therefore, I’m mocking it really hard like that, so please don’t take it personally. It is not that you or even the cocaine paper author who a lot of the knowledge you’re talking about stems from.
Nothing wrong with cocaine, nothing wrong with the Oedipus Rex complex, nothing wrong with the fact of killing the father fuck the mother kill the father... Ect. Yeah.
Those “thoughts,” the ones you should dwell on, so to speak, a lot of of that stemmed from him.
This isn’t personal, your move—Kowalski.
Thanks Daniel, I didn't understand most of that, but it does feel like self-induced therapy! lol Don't worry about mocking theories or science, I have to critique it too and defend my position! incl Skinner and Freud! fun times:-)