Thanks for being open and vulnerable. Our personal stories matter! Embracing ambiguity is terrifying for many of us but it can also be freeing and exciting!
Thank you for reading and commenting Ann Marie, initially the ambiguity was terrifying...I have found once I had the right people around me it became more freeing and liberating.
I really connected with the part about learning to trust yourself, especially when you’re used to measuring yourself through achievement and external validation. And 55 drafts as “evidence of failure” made me smile. Sometimes the things we think are failures are where we finally find our own voice.
I am so pleased this resonated. Learning self trust in the ' new space ' has taking me a while... Yes I need evidence that I gather 'myself', because others opinion is so subjective... But helpful to bounce off sometimes. Thank you for being here cheering me on!
Firstly so proud of you to trust your voice enough to share with us. It feels icky but we all are. And for this career break to be for you and exploring what you value and care about can only yield positive results. Because it seems you are passionate and have been through enough shit that resilience is already like your default setting.
I love that I met you here and while we have just started our little friendship at the campsite, I'm loving learning about you! Grief is part of growth. But that's just opinion and lived experience, than fact, so maybe the meaning making stage hopefully closes the loop and sets you free to be absolutely fabulous and successful! 🧡💗🧡
I appreciate you reading and sharing you words, I have no words atm it's a pretty deep article. I am so glad we met on here too. This grief is just a tiny fraction of it Iam afraid.... I have no words for the other grief atm so I wrote a poem 'candle'.... Xxoo being so ope online with no hiding... Feels pretty vulnerable... I have had very strong ugrdes to dilute it... 🤫😔
Katerina, “This career break is for me” carries particular significance after the earlier breaks you describe were shaped by motherhood, policy, health, and family responsibility. Choosing this one creates space to examine which parts of professional identity still belong with you and which expectations can remain behind as the PhD takes shape. Your 55 drafts add another dimension: they document a willingness to practice unfinished work until your own voice became recognizable again. Grateful for the candor with which you connect career transition, self-trust, and the freedom to enter a next chapter before every detail has a name.
Thank you for this Rev Kevin, thank you for this lovely reflection, absolutely finally feels like I have the "freedom to enter a next chapter" which I am excited about and open to different possibilities.
Grief and growth. Those definitely go hand in hand.
Women seem to have more career breaks or chapters to their lives than men. Maybe that will change as gender roles continue to change. The entire concept of roles is quite amusing.
I think if we pursue our passions there is often ways to achieve it such as picking up those extra jobs. But we have to be flexible and understand there's a timing to everything. I can write my own essay on that and not clog up this comment LOL
Failure is literally tattooed on my arm. "Growth needs failure, tears and pain." I really like the ending of embracing ambiguity. I feel like I've been On a very similar journey ❤️
I believe it is different for women and men, yes, I really hope that we keep moving forward towards equity in gender roles, there are also biological differences social policies need to catch up to.
I like that, "growth needs failure, tears and pain". Glad this resonated, sounds like you are going through some form of transitional thinking yourself.
Losing a career at midlife carries grief that has nothing to do with whether you wanted to leave. The role held things: the structure, the routine, a version of who you were while you were good at it. That doesn't dissolve on the way out. It asks to be accounted for. This piece does that honestly, and there aren't many that do.
Thank you, Tiago, for taking time to read this and comment. I appreciate it. This one was difficult to write, very honest and open about things I would only share with family normally. I hope it normalises grief, transition and midlife for people.
Thank you for writing about this so honestly Kat. Leaving a career you have spent years building can carry so much more than the practical change itself, especially when it has become tied to your identity and how you have learned to measure yourself.
It made me think of Ilka’s guest essay on my Substack today. She is writing from her final days in corporate work and wondering who she will be without the professional voice she built there. Your piece feels like another side of that same question, once the career identity starts loosening and the grief, pressure and uncertainty underneath it become more visible.
I also really liked the part about finding a writing voice you recognise. It sounds like Substack has become one place where you are practising the self-trust you write about.
Thank you, Sara, this one was a difficult one, if I would start Substack over, this is the post I would start with. It took me awhile to find the courage to be so raw and honest about my career break, the story keeps unfolding as I am working out the next steps. Now, it is incredibly rewarding to meet wonderful people like yourself along the way. This one definitively feels more like me, my writers voice. If I have achieved anything on here is finding it and owning it for sure.
I am going to head over later to your Substack and find Ilka's post, thank you!
This really resonated with me Kat as I experienced so many of the feelings you describe when I retired. I was only 56 which meant I had plenty of time before settee and slippers. I have actually had 3 more careers since leaving headship, but at the time I had no idea they existed. For the first 6 months of leaving I cried every day and even now, years later there are times when I get a twinge of loss. Like you it was my decision which I think can make it feel worse because you have no one to blame! Grief and loss were the overriding emotions to work through. Thankfully my wonderful husband had expected it and was prepared.
I am so pleased this resonated with you Julia, I have been working through my grief in silence really, way before I started Substack. I needed to reach meaning making phase before I was able to share it. This one was probably the difficult to write but I am glad I did.
Grieving and transitioning is certainly difficult. At 56 moving into retirement feels too early and I myself would have found it challenging. Have you written about your experience? I would love to read it.
Thanks for being open and vulnerable. Our personal stories matter! Embracing ambiguity is terrifying for many of us but it can also be freeing and exciting!
Thank you for reading and commenting Ann Marie, initially the ambiguity was terrifying...I have found once I had the right people around me it became more freeing and liberating.
I really connected with the part about learning to trust yourself, especially when you’re used to measuring yourself through achievement and external validation. And 55 drafts as “evidence of failure” made me smile. Sometimes the things we think are failures are where we finally find our own voice.
I am so pleased this resonated. Learning self trust in the ' new space ' has taking me a while... Yes I need evidence that I gather 'myself', because others opinion is so subjective... But helpful to bounce off sometimes. Thank you for being here cheering me on!
Firstly so proud of you to trust your voice enough to share with us. It feels icky but we all are. And for this career break to be for you and exploring what you value and care about can only yield positive results. Because it seems you are passionate and have been through enough shit that resilience is already like your default setting.
I love that I met you here and while we have just started our little friendship at the campsite, I'm loving learning about you! Grief is part of growth. But that's just opinion and lived experience, than fact, so maybe the meaning making stage hopefully closes the loop and sets you free to be absolutely fabulous and successful! 🧡💗🧡
Fuck honestly, so proud and inspired by you!
I appreciate you reading and sharing you words, I have no words atm it's a pretty deep article. I am so glad we met on here too. This grief is just a tiny fraction of it Iam afraid.... I have no words for the other grief atm so I wrote a poem 'candle'.... Xxoo being so ope online with no hiding... Feels pretty vulnerable... I have had very strong ugrdes to dilute it... 🤫😔
Katerina, “This career break is for me” carries particular significance after the earlier breaks you describe were shaped by motherhood, policy, health, and family responsibility. Choosing this one creates space to examine which parts of professional identity still belong with you and which expectations can remain behind as the PhD takes shape. Your 55 drafts add another dimension: they document a willingness to practice unfinished work until your own voice became recognizable again. Grateful for the candor with which you connect career transition, self-trust, and the freedom to enter a next chapter before every detail has a name.
Thank you for this Rev Kevin, thank you for this lovely reflection, absolutely finally feels like I have the "freedom to enter a next chapter" which I am excited about and open to different possibilities.
Grief and growth. Those definitely go hand in hand.
Women seem to have more career breaks or chapters to their lives than men. Maybe that will change as gender roles continue to change. The entire concept of roles is quite amusing.
I think if we pursue our passions there is often ways to achieve it such as picking up those extra jobs. But we have to be flexible and understand there's a timing to everything. I can write my own essay on that and not clog up this comment LOL
Failure is literally tattooed on my arm. "Growth needs failure, tears and pain." I really like the ending of embracing ambiguity. I feel like I've been On a very similar journey ❤️
I believe it is different for women and men, yes, I really hope that we keep moving forward towards equity in gender roles, there are also biological differences social policies need to catch up to.
I like that, "growth needs failure, tears and pain". Glad this resonated, sounds like you are going through some form of transitional thinking yourself.
Losing a career at midlife carries grief that has nothing to do with whether you wanted to leave. The role held things: the structure, the routine, a version of who you were while you were good at it. That doesn't dissolve on the way out. It asks to be accounted for. This piece does that honestly, and there aren't many that do.
Thank you, Tiago, for taking time to read this and comment. I appreciate it. This one was difficult to write, very honest and open about things I would only share with family normally. I hope it normalises grief, transition and midlife for people.
You’ve done great work here.
Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for writing about this so honestly Kat. Leaving a career you have spent years building can carry so much more than the practical change itself, especially when it has become tied to your identity and how you have learned to measure yourself.
It made me think of Ilka’s guest essay on my Substack today. She is writing from her final days in corporate work and wondering who she will be without the professional voice she built there. Your piece feels like another side of that same question, once the career identity starts loosening and the grief, pressure and uncertainty underneath it become more visible.
I also really liked the part about finding a writing voice you recognise. It sounds like Substack has become one place where you are practising the self-trust you write about.
Thank you, Sara, this one was a difficult one, if I would start Substack over, this is the post I would start with. It took me awhile to find the courage to be so raw and honest about my career break, the story keeps unfolding as I am working out the next steps. Now, it is incredibly rewarding to meet wonderful people like yourself along the way. This one definitively feels more like me, my writers voice. If I have achieved anything on here is finding it and owning it for sure.
I am going to head over later to your Substack and find Ilka's post, thank you!
This really resonated with me Kat as I experienced so many of the feelings you describe when I retired. I was only 56 which meant I had plenty of time before settee and slippers. I have actually had 3 more careers since leaving headship, but at the time I had no idea they existed. For the first 6 months of leaving I cried every day and even now, years later there are times when I get a twinge of loss. Like you it was my decision which I think can make it feel worse because you have no one to blame! Grief and loss were the overriding emotions to work through. Thankfully my wonderful husband had expected it and was prepared.
I am so pleased this resonated with you Julia, I have been working through my grief in silence really, way before I started Substack. I needed to reach meaning making phase before I was able to share it. This one was probably the difficult to write but I am glad I did.
Grieving and transitioning is certainly difficult. At 56 moving into retirement feels too early and I myself would have found it challenging. Have you written about your experience? I would love to read it.